The Job Board: Best all-time job posting

The Job Board is a weekly entry of the most ridiculous Cinematography related jobs posted online.  Note: This posting was from a year ago.

Vacancy:
DP / Steadicam Op / AC
Employer:
WTF Productions
Location:
Hollywood
Duration:
Four 7 day weeks, starts tomorrow
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Payment is on a lo/no/deferred basis.
DP needed who owns an HD or 35mm camera, grip truck with gas, lighting, crane and generator (also with gas). There is no pay and you must feed yourself daily, but if you want to stay home and just let us use your stuff, that'd be fine too. Must have 10 years experience, references, reel and major award for cinematography. You will not be involved in color timing. If we can shoot in your house too, that would also be great. IMDB credit only offered.
We are also desperate for a super experienced Steadicam operator with "A" list credits and top of the line gear that we won't pay for. This should include a preston system, super post and gyros for a one-shot scene lasting for 8-9 minutes where you will ascend 4 levels of stairs backward, duck through a window, get on a crane, step off and then run full sprint. No pay offered, but we have a PA who might rub your shoulders if he's not busy being a human sand bag. If you own a sand bag, please bring it. Some water and Fresca provided.
We will also need an experienced AC to be a one-man camera support team, pulling focus, slating, loading, setting up camera, marking actors and doing time cards - No pay, but you still need to do time cards. More importantly, you need to be technical experts at pulling focus on Steadicam, working with remote heads as well as picking up and returning the gear in your own car.
Apply to: Boss